Okay this is really awkward to talk about. It just is. You'll know why in a few lines. So Harvard used to be my dream school, LONG ago. However I realized that Harvard was definitely out of my reach as my high school years progressed and this was the result of a several factors that I will not get into. Long story short, I've had to work my entire high school career as a full time employee, my GPA is a 3.14 UW, my SAT is a 1990 superscored, and I have some very unusual extracurriculars, but they are consistent with my personality traits. I'm very reluctant to apply as I have faced rejection and feel like it's sort of unhealthy to continue choosing it. It especially feels like I am choosing rejection if I am choosing to apply to Harvard. I'm kind of reluctant to do so, but I won't lie to you and say that Harvard is not the least bit intriguing. Anyone who loves learning will have to be drawn to Harvard, even if it's a remote attraction. My guidance counselor keeps pushing me to apply and I have no idea why with my statistics. Yes, I look horrible on paper, and she understands this. But my recommendations are all excellent. It's just so difficult because I know that how one looks on paper truly matters to Harvard. I believe that one has to pass a certain academic threshold in order to avoid having their app recycled or shredded or however they dispose of it. I'm a senior and I should be more mature about this but I actually have no idea of what to do. Some part of me really wants to apply to Harvard so that I don't have to go on wondering what would have happened if I applied. Another part of me is really afraid of this rejection because it will feel like the ultimate rejection and this makes the application feel futile even though I had a lot of fun writing essays for it and college applications in general. My guidance counselor thinks that I should apply and is really optimistic, in fact too optimistic. I mean I look like trash compared to like all of the other applicants. What would you do? I'm super undecided.
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